Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
