I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
