She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I need moral support for this bender
Found the puke drawer
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
