Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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