every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
