fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
