Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
