Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
