Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
