Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
