How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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