The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
