I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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