Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
