I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
