My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
