How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it penis luge time yet?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
