I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
