Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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