I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
