Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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