No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
