Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
