he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize