hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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