is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
