Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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