I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
