she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
