It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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