Please don't use social media to get back at me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
