You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize