I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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