Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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