Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
