Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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