I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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