I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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