yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think people are normalizing furries
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
