Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
