Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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