Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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