At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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