you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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