operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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