I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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