Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Where is the hickey?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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