I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
