You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
