don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
