Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
