I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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