hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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