Hey man sorry I got all grabby
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
