and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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