Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
