both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
