His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
