You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
