I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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