i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
