I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
