Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
