It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize