I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Pants are for mortals
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
