We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
