apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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