I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize